I can still see you now,
Curled up in a ball
In the corner of the dark musty room,
Your hands white knuckle clenched.
I can't remember why.
Was it because anger's sharp pointy teeth
Were tearing through you?
Or were you trying to suppress the overpowering wave of despair
That hovered a breath away?
I can't remember.
I just remember your green marble eyes
Fixed on something through me.
You were painfully beautiful
And unbearable ugly.
And it was then, with your destruction, my destruction,
Painted in the shadows, I left you.
Left you to reassemble the sharp cutting shards of yourself.
You got married yesterday,
Said a friend of a friend.
Married to someone pure and true,
Encapsuled in holy bliss.
But she'll never know you the way I do.
Never own the worst of you,
Never be bound up tightly by your desperate mixture of love and hate.
And if I had to choose between sunset riding everafter
And the sweet ache of your disdain,
I'd choose your hate.
Because it's as honest as you've ever been,
As honest as you ever will be.
And all I ever wanted was your bone breaking honesty.