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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Tender intertwining


A gentle glide of bodies
hands that twine with mine
a bloody pulse of radiating heat
that starts the warming flush
Skin against sweet, sweaty skin
nothing too kinky
just a tender intertwining
souls longing to be touched
Lip to lip
we'll tell each other secrets
heart to heart
lay ourselves bare
Oh, what a whisper of a moment
that lingers in the air
a flicker in the dark
my hands longing
to catch and to hold
But as it enters
I let it go
And tuck its memory
in the secret corner of my mind
to warm my skin
another day

This is in response to Three Word Wednesday

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Ophelia and I

Ophelia and I

little girls running

beside the stream

wildflowers waiting to bloom

we whispered about boys

and that intangible someday

too young to steady our pace

arms open wide

too shortsighted to see

the marathon length before us

we sprinted until

we tumbled down winded

the verdant shores

remember those little girls

wild and free

before she succumbed

to her watery grave

and I fell victim

to the ennui of life

but when I dream

I feel her hand in mine

feel the wind whipping my hair

the sweet joy

of friendship and youth

found with Ophelia

by the summer stream

Written in response to ABC Wednesday
, Theme Thursday Sunday Scribbling, One Single Impressionand The Mag

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Locket

Kept this
broken heart locket
locked inside
the drawer beside my bed
tarnished silver
hides rumpled pictures
fools' smiling faces
frozen in the happy past
a heart's dependence
on what used to be
I should pawn it
let it go
to new pictures
a healthy beating heart
to warm the cold metal
but I'll keep it
locked inside the drawer
holding on
to faded pictures
of all I left behind

In response to Three Word Wednesday at http://www.threewordwednesday.com/2012/04/3ww-cclxviii.html

Never

Never been as humble
endless pounding waves
crashing at my feet
millions of blazing galaxies
piercing the night sky

Never been as naked
words flung into the world
each lovingly placed
opening the wizard's curtain
exposing shaky secrets

Never been as lost
strength personified
idolized father figure
cold and lifeless before me
how do you let go

Never been as scared
still, quiet darkness
shifting fears attacking
a mind that will not rest
a heart wanting to let go

Never been as loved
rock bottom of the well
suffocated by night
your voice pulling me back
towards sun's healing rays

Never been so calm
faith in something bigger
purpose in the chaos
let go in the midst of the storm
serenity of hope

In response to ABC Wednesday at http://abcwednesday-mrsnesbitt.blogspot.com/2012/04/n-is-for-novel-letter.html

Monday, April 16, 2012

Papa

My skin feels the lingering
touch of your hand
strong, callused hands
that were never supposed to leave
Still feels the soft curly hair
on the tips of my fingers
You are the booming laugh
that echoes in the hollows
your absence leaves in my heart
I was so sure you were
too strong to ever fall
The cold marble proves me wrong
the only tangible reminder
you ever were here with me
I don't need that stone
to know what I lost
every shaky beat remembers
brings a pulsing ache
I'll never forget being held
in the gentlest of embraces
will never feel as safe
as I felt in your love
so sure and true
Wait at the gates of heaven
I'll be along soon enough
soon enough the missing piece
will be whole again.

Circus Freak

Circus freak
under church clothes
Lies of normal
cover deformities
I'll play out the charade
for your love
Don't look too close
nooks and crannies
hide dirty little secrets
I miss the touch
of skin against skin
when the real me
makes you cringe
and turn away
Oh, how I long
to take off the mask
But who would love
this disfigured heart
who would want
the twisted, tangled mess of me
So I play my part
learn to lie so well
that no one will see
the circus freak in me

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Lovely Disaster

This union breeds disaster
smell the charred remains
drifting up from downstream
We're stretching the seams
too wild and bucking for these fences
Still my fingers twitch with longing
to trace your curves and lines
and I ache with the pull
to slowly sink into your heated eyes
a heat that will burn and blister
Our downfall clear on the horizon
we shift in our indecision
pulling close and pushing away
It would be a lovely disaster
scratching and clawing and biting
If we turn away now
the wondering will always linger
so strong sometimes a heart will break
In the end, what hurts worse
giving in to the wrong kind of love
or living with a tame heart
that longs for the wildness of you

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Conversation with God

I've seen Hell.
He let me visit,
see the landscape

He tells me
"I'll let you go there
the choice is yours
but you know I'm here.
It won't be easy
I won't let you
take the easy way out
but you know I'm here."

I'm so weak
   "I'm not"
Not strong enough
   "I am"
Why would you want me?
   "I do"
I want...
   "I know what you need"

I preview this wicked view
I see and feel the fear
as if it were air
and I can't breathe
I want to be lost
but the cost is too high
I know who wins in the end
But is the fight for freedom in me?

I listen to His voice
"You have to choose
I won't let you play
both sides anymore.
It's all or nothing,
you're either his
or you're mine."

You won't leave me?
   "I haven't yet"
I will surely falter more often than not
   "Keep focused on Me, I'll teach you the way"
What if...
   "Trust me, no half measures, really trust me."

You know me
I always fail
I am always too sick
too tired
too weak
I say I will
but even if I really try
I fail
   "I don't"

I can't move
   "I'll move you"
I'm so weak
   "I'll make you strong"

As I look around I can see
what I'd become
lost souls scared of the dark
broken hearts that
just keep breaking

I then look to the light
as the gentle, loving voice asks
"It's the moment of truth,
 who do you choose?"

Taking a deep breath
and a leap of faith

You, I choose You.

The Poison

I can still taste the poison
that ran through my veins
that passed these willing lips,
still feel numb around the edges,
still feel the wicked draw
though it left a bitter taste
and made my body ache.
But the ache felt right
to this bruised and broken soul
what I truly deserved.

Oh, this foolish mind of mine
that misses the self inflicted pain,
that romanticizes the way
it felt upon my lips,
tasted on my tongue,
burned down my throat.

It's not the taste I miss
but the numbing of this too sensitive skin
that always had me coming back for more.

It's fangs sank so deep in me
I was sure it touched my soul
made all that was clean inside dirty,
something so much less than desirable.

There was no one there to pull out the venom
so I hid deep in the dark for awhile
as the shakes wracked my body
and the cold sweat dripped from my skin.
I survived that desperate night
where my stomach heaved
and my body burned,
made it through to stand on the other side
and I'll never let that poison touch my lips again.

It's the stand I have to make,
the stand I will make everyday
until my last breath gently floats away
simply glad it won't be torn from my body
I'll keep that poison at bay.

Mistake

I won't make that mistake again
with you standing at my door,
the howling of the wind
echoing from deep in the woods
the sound of a broken heart in the air.
Your smile sits so naturally on your face,
but there is something moving behind your eyes,
something I've seen too many times before.
It scratches at the surface, fighting for light.
I know it's the wrong kind of right
that leaves nothing but a bitter taste on my lips.
That crooked grin is nothing but the lie
you tell me to get past my door.
I've seen it too many times before,
blindly putting faith in something I should never trust.
I feel a hardening of the soft tissue of my heart
hardening enough to make the break easier.
Oh, silly boy, we've played this game too many times before.
I've played the fool to your wily ways.
You taught me this game the hard way.
I feel an ache for the girl I used to be,
the girl I had to leave behind.
She used to long for that boy
knocking at the door like the pounding of her heart,
accepted any wisps of affection that floated her way.
A silly girl for a silly boy who was never sure what he wanted.
Sometimes I can't bear to think of her
on the other side of the door waiting for the knock.
She no longer waits, having learned her lesson well.
She knows about boys with heartbreak in their eyes.
She knows the playbook forward and back,
the winner of a crushed and bleeding heart.
So don't stand there in the doorway expecting to get in,
don't think I can't see the shadows lurking in your eyes.
All you'll ever be is the mistake I won't make again.


In response to ABC Wednesday at http://abcwednesday-mrsnesbitt.blogspot.com/2012/04/m-is-for-me-me-me.html