Mistake

I won't make that mistake again
with you standing at my door,
the howling of the wind
echoing from deep in the woods
the sound of a broken heart in the air.
Your smile sits so naturally on your face,
but there is something moving behind your eyes,
something I've seen too many times before.
It scratches at the surface, fighting for light.
I know it's the wrong kind of right
that leaves nothing but a bitter taste on my lips.
That crooked grin is nothing but the lie
you tell me to get past my door.
I've seen it too many times before,
blindly putting faith in something I should never trust.
I feel a hardening of the soft tissue of my heart
hardening enough to make the break easier.
Oh, silly boy, we've played this game too many times before.
I've played the fool to your wily ways.
You taught me this game the hard way.
I feel an ache for the girl I used to be,
the girl I had to leave behind.
She used to long for that boy
knocking at the door like the pounding of her heart,
accepted any wisps of affection that floated her way.
A silly girl for a silly boy who was never sure what he wanted.
Sometimes I can't bear to think of her
on the other side of the door waiting for the knock.
She no longer waits, having learned her lesson well.
She knows about boys with heartbreak in their eyes.
She knows the playbook forward and back,
the winner of a crushed and bleeding heart.
So don't stand there in the doorway expecting to get in,
don't think I can't see the shadows lurking in your eyes.
All you'll ever be is the mistake I won't make again.


In response to ABC Wednesday at http://abcwednesday-mrsnesbitt.blogspot.com/2012/04/m-is-for-me-me-me.html